Metablogging: August 2002 Archives

Despondency Redux

Mr. Field comments below:

I'm new to blogland, but I think that the types of posts that you write don't provoke a thread of discussion in the way that Mrs. Welborn's do. Probably because of your "rules of posting" that you discuss in your philosophy post immediately above.

And, of course, he's correct. It is far more difficult to respond to something that simply isn't controversial. It is harder to formulate anything coherent to say about it other than , "Well, yes, of course." (Read that last phrase with a sort of valley-girl whine--much more effective). So despondency, is simply about unrealistic expectations. Once abandoned, the sheer pleasure of being able to write and being able to say something about those saints and artists who speak to you takes over. This love and exhilaration is a gift from God as all love is a mirror of His divine love for us. They are all lesser and eventually need to be abandoned for that greater love, but only as He leads us.

So, all things considered, it is hardly surprising that these posts don't provoke tons of comments. And that's perfectly okay, because normally I feel conscience bound to try to respond to someone who has been so kind as to make a comment on the site. I know I haven't done so completely or perfectly, and if I had a greater number of responses, I'd be unable to respond to as many of them as I currently do.

So, to Mr. Field, thank you for the fine compliment paid and for putting into words what I had so obviously neglected. After all, I do not comment on everything I read on everyone's site, nor am I likely to in the future. But all of those sites I visit with great frequency, those listed to the left and many others, I enjoy and appreciate enormously.

I suppose, if I'm to be allowed a single whine (I promise not to drive for at least an hour afterwards), that I lament that so few seem to be engaged by what is lovely and beautiful as by what is current and usually unfortunately human (in that most fallen of senses).

I've never really stated why I am in the blogging world. There are actually two reasons--one practical, one spiritual/emotional. The practical reason is that I needed to better understand how Dhtml works, and this provided me with an excuse to learn.

The spiritual/emotional reason is that I saw a lot of blogs that commented on the news and on events. I think many of these are very fine and provide insights I might not otherwise have. But I thought that I could provide a pool of serenity where these issues did not often intrude (little did I realize that there are many such pools--thus my ignorance of the blogging world contributed yet another blog). However, you will see that while I have opinions about many of the things stated, I have some fairly strict rules (for myself) about what I will post and discuss. The first of these follows a dictum from Blessed (soon-to-be St.) Josemaria Escriva. One of his "seventeen evidences of a lack of humility," is " to give your opinion when it has not been requested and when charity does not demand it." I'm afraid that many of my ruminations upon events in the world would strike one as something less than charitable. Far better not to inflict that on an unsuspecting world. But the overriding rule I try to abide by comes straight from the lips of Jesus, "Take the beam from out thine own eye before thou removest the mote in thy brother's eye." I'm afraid that I've got one of those metal skyscraper structural I-beams--far be it for me to deride anyone no matter how (subjectively) ludicrous I may find their opinions.

That said, I must also add that I thank God for those not under the same strictures. We need bold defenders of the faith and people who are willing to wade into the fray and simply lay it on the line. We need people who can explain and defend the faith and who are not afraid to call a dog a dog. In no way is my reluctance to engage in these sorts of enterprises to be considered a reflection on anyone who does. But as John at Disputations wisely pointed out:

As with air masks that drop down from the ceiling in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, the saving of souls works best if you take care of yourself before assisting those around you.

That said, you will undoubtedly better understand why this site has the weird things it does. I write to inform you and in so doing I learn far more than anyone is likely to derive from my writings. So thank you all for giving me a reason to write and to reflect upon the goodness of God, His mercy, His blessings, and His loving kindness to me. It is my prayer that you may come away from my site with something similar for yourselves. And if not, at least you have been entertained by the endless meanderings. I suspect it ranks at least slightly above most television for content value.

I want to thank everyone who so kindly responded to my post about "despondency." I suppose that the word was rather stronger than my actual feeling and the real essence was to reflect and realize that not everything one writes CAN provoke much of a reaction. There are things very close to one's heart (to one's soul) that speak to one and not to another, as God chooses. We all have vocations, and each vocation is tailored to the individual.

Often I hear people say something like, "I'll never be a St. Therese." And my immediate response is, "We already have one of those, God doesn't need another. What God needs here and now is a St. Kevin." (Assuming the conversant's name was Kevin).

Another mystery of vocation that I had missed for so long is that it isn't simply, "My vocation is to be a Carmelite," and that's the end of it. No, as St. Therese informs us, vocation is much more complex. She finally concluded that her vocation was, "To be Love at the heart of the Church." Each of us is called not only to what I would term a primary vocation, but to a unique definition of that vocation. What this provides the world is an array of saints of every shade and shape, every imaginable disposition and personality, so that when someone is looking for an example, they can find someone who really helps them out. I mean, consider the spectrum--from St. Philip Neri to St. Jerome and beyond. God really is lavish in His gifts to us.

I've wandered off path again. But thanks for writing and thank you for reading--it is deeply appreciated. I pray that God will bless you for it.

Bonjour, Tristesse
Okay, so it's melodramatic, considering the cause, but nevertheless, I have amazing traffic flowthrough on a day when I cannot update anything. It's enough to make you cry. Wrote to Blogger, three times. They don't acknowledge or post that there's a problem, but I know others have reported to me glitchy operation of their sites. On the other hand some sites are operating without a hitch, and I haven't a clue why. Everything is reported as aOK, but it doesn't function.

Oh well, this is why St. John of the Cross recommends detachment. Do not get so bound up in something so that it upsets you not to have it. Human beings are notoriously unreliable, why should their mechanical servants be any better? The lesson--patience, gentleness, resignation, and courage. Keep blogging even if you can't blog. Perhaps that is really what is called in common circles, "Stupidity." Anyway, I've wanted to respond to a lot of stuff I've seen today, so I will continue to blog until even the transfer does not take.