I particularly cherished the following experience recounted by Fr. Beck. It spoke to me intimately and provoked a line of thought that I had never really considered. We start as Father Beck is trying to avoid the eye of a modern-day John the Baptist in Time's Square:
from Soul Provider
Fr. Edward L. BeckI maneuvered to get around him, but, seeming to sense that I was an unwilling convert, he would have none of it. He made a bee-line for me as I lowered my head and tried to get lost in the crowd that I now appreciated. He held a tattered black Bible that he massaged gently with his thumb.
"Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, young man?"
He was standing right in front of me, blocking my passage. (At least he called me young.) I didn't answer, pretending I thought he was talking to someone else.
"You, sir, do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?" he persisted.
I looked up, unable to ignore him any longer.
"What?" I said, though I'm not sure why, since I had clearly heard the question.
"Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?" he repeated more forcefully. A woman bumped me from behind letting me know in her own not-so-gentle way that I was blocking the path.
"Yes, I do," I said. "I do, thank you." I walked around him and started to make my way down the street.
"Hey," he called to me. I looked back. "Isn't it wonderful?" His eyes were glowing.
"Not always," I answered truthfully.
I continued walking and was about a hundred feet from him when he shouted, "Well, then, repent, blue eyes, and it will always be.
I don't necessarily take the street-corner prophet at his literal word here, but it occurred to me that with a good deal more repentance, and a good deal less Steven, that personal relationship might be made more manifest to those around me. And a personal relationship with Jesus is next to useless if it isn't influencing the world around us. Perhaps what I need more of, then, is a spirit of continual repentance--heaven knows there isn't a day I go through that doesn't encourage me to confession before participation in Mass. I'm one of those who wishes that confession were offered moments before Mass so there would be some likelihood of making it to Mass before needing to get to confession again. I often wonder whether I've ever really managed to gain a plenary indulgence for any of the poor souls because the conditions are so rigorous. If Mass immediately follows confession and/or the action that merits the plenary indulgence, there is a remote possibility. Otherwise. . .
Repentance, it's not just a seasonal thing--it's a way to live, really live, a life.
