words wasted
to make lines work--doomed
to failurewords wasted
to fill lines--reduced
to white noiseto fill lines
words wasted--flaccid
poetryToo many
words to make the count
poems flabbyadd words--force
lines--chaos--can't get
your wordsworth© 2005, Steven Riddle
I was talking about how the Japanese compose haiku and how in some cases the lines consist of a single word and its identifier particles. I had read it suggested that the syllabification for an English form that presented the same challenges would be 3-5-3--reducing 17 syllables to 11. Above is the transformation that occurs when it is tried on the admittedly poor hiaku of the previous version.
All very true. It's easy to see when Shakespeare or other great poets were in the groove: As if they were speaking without regard to form and their words merely happened to fall into iambic pentameter onto the page.
well done, Heron, and poetically thoughtful...
I'm sorry
As I read further
Messages
Bright wisdom
Alters darkened prose
Doggy treat
Muttered curse
Apology verse
New discource