A History of My Errors

First, the new version:

And Like Shadows, Flow Away

Meet me on the plain of glass, fly to me
there where we name us the summit of all.
Come to me across the water, I see
you chasing reflections until you fall
in love with a shadow twin. Together
we will bind reflection, shackle shadows
until we, lords of the world though we may
be, fold up and like shadows flow away.

© 2005, Steven Riddle

And the version circa 2002:

And Like Shadows, Flow Away

Meet me on a plain
of glass.
Fly to me there
where
we are the only monuments.
Come to me
across the water
chasing your reflection
until you fall
in love
with a shadow
twin. Together
we will bind
our reflections,
shackle
the shadows that chase
us. And flow away.

© 2005, Steven Riddle

I like the free verse version. It means differently than the more structured version. But I like the meaning imposed by structure. It forces one's hand--you need to make some decisions--for good or for ill. In this case, perhaps to the detriment of the original. But each now makes a statement and the statements are distinctly different.